Youth in general though, is a tricky little topic. I’ve learned a few things in my 21 years on planet Earth. Something I learned pretty young was the following;
There is zero point in getting caught up,and getting worried about falling in love at our age, ‘cause about two months later you realise that person is a dick. And really, if they’re not gonna enhance your life, they should get out of your life, that’s the way I see it.
Number two, more importantly then number one, under no circumstances, is it cool or acceptable to fuck over one of your friends. I would never in my wildest dreams, fuck over anyone in our band, because they are my friends, and friends are family, do you understand?
Third, and finally: when you are young, you can be as reckless as you want!
As I think we’re all aware, Tumblr skews very young. Like teenaged young. There are lots of us around who aren’t so very young, but we’re outnumbered. It is not a secret that I am not super young (I’m 38…soon to be 39…gah) and occasionally I’ve gotten Askbox messages about what it’s like being a grownup, how do you know when you are one, and if it’s fun or if it sucks, that kind of thing.
I don’t know if anybody ever feels like a grown-up, but I’ve certainly been living the grown-up life since I was 22, so I have some experience. To that end, I will share with you some of the…
Things I’ve Learned About Being a Grownup
1. You will get super excited about Christmas and birthday gifts of things like…socks, or new towels. I got a stand mixer one year and it was the Best Christmas Ever.
2. It won’t take long to figure out that keeping a tight rein on your finances is A GOOD THING. Or it shouldn’t take long, anyway. HEED MY WARNING.
3. There is no such thing as summer vacation. Not even for teachers.
4. The first time you ask to speak to someone’s manager, or send something back to the kitchen, it will feel weird. It takes awhile to internalize the Grownup Idea that you do have the right to expect and demand good service and/or respect.
5. Interest rates are obviously an invention of the devil.
6. Your boss will not give you a gold star for showing up. There are no ribbons for participation in the real world.
7. Those things you were always excited to do when you were a grownup? Like sleep all day and eat candy for breakfast and stay out drinking and make unwise purchases? Fun at first. Not so fun later, and not good for you. If you’re smart you will reach this conclusion on your own and cut it the fuck out. Mostly.
8. You have no idea of about 80% of the things your parents do for you. What, I have to PAY for trash pick-up/oil changes/Netflix?
9. Sure, it’s nice being a grownup and buying things I want for myself, like Sherlock DVDs and trips to London. But 90% of your income will go to pay for things that are no fun. Like…mattress pads. Renter’s insurance. Co-pays on my thyroid pills. Motherfucking STUDENT LOANS.
10. You’re never too old to be a flaily fangirl.
11. As long as you can support yourself, ALWAYS take a job you like that has a pleasant working environment over a job that pays more. No amount of money is worth the stress of hating your job for forty hours a week (or more).
12. You’re not stuck with the people school makes you be friends with. Now you can choose. Choose people who add something to your life. And to have a good friend, you have to BE one.
13. Some things are worth the investment. Good shoes. Regular car maintenance. Quality cheese. Travel. Activities that enrich and inspire you. Some things are not. Designer clothes (unless your career demands them, and those careers are rare). Fancy cars. Frequent nights on the town (those evenings are surprisingly pricey).
14. It’s okay to go through the drive-thru in your pajamas.
15. You will spend a lot of time getting stains out of stuff. Accept it.
16. Stocking a medicine cabinet is expensive. (It should contain at minimum: band-aids, painkillers, cold medicine, allergy medicine, throat lozenges, Pepto, antacids, Neosporin, and hydrocortisone cream)
17. You can never have too many fleeces or conveniently-sized bowls. Anything else, there are limits.
18. You will never be a grownup if you run back to your parents every time you have a problem. Some things do merit family help, but unless it’s a significant illness, devastating personal loss, situation in which you find yourself in danger, or imminent financial ruin, handle it yourself.
19. Your first apartment, you’ll care if it’s cool looking, if it’s close to fun things, if there’s a pool. All subsequent apartments, you will mostly care if there is on-site laundry.
20. The most important things from your childhood are the ones you’ll never outgrow. I still re-read “The Westing Game.”
I’d like to add one —
21. You’ll never really feel like a grown-up most of the time. I’m nearing 26 (July) and I still don’t really feel like a grown-up, despite having owned a car, paying my bills, etc.
I should probably print this out and stick it on my fridge in FL.
Oh God, this whole list. This whole list is so accurate, even the amendment.
With 21, I’d like to suggest that feeling like a Grownup comes in small bursts. I’m twenty-four, about to turn twenty-five in a little more than a month, and I have what I call Responsible Adult Moments. Like when I pay my bills online or getting excited when my loan statements come in and show how much I have left to pay off—especially if the number is smaller than I expected!
But most of the time, I don’t feel like a Grownup. I feel more like Tom Hanks’s character in Big most of the time. Except I’m not very skilled at playing giant floor pianos.
Oh, God, I think I’m already too close to being a grown-up for my liking.
Can I add something that I’ve already learned?
22. SHOW UP ON TIME. The world doesn’t care if your nails need to dry. The world doesn’t care you have to shower. Plan ahead, and get out the door on time. The world will thank you.
Idiot:Legalizing gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage.
Intelligent person:Well, what about divorce? Doesn't divorce destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage as well? If so, why aren't you against divorce? What about people like Kim Kardashian who get married for three months and then get divorced? Should we ban her from ever getting married again? I didn't think so.
Idiot:Legalizing gay marriage will open the doors to other types of marriage, like being able to marry your dog, family member, or several people at once.
Intelligent person:People thought the same thing about interracial marriage and it's been legal for quite some time now. I don't recall any doors being opened to interspecies marriage because of interracial marriage. Furthermore, there are several states that allow you to marry your first cousin and I believe that door was opened by traditional marriage, not gay marriage.
Idiot:Legalizing gay marriage will redefine the word "marriage".
Intelligent person:Words are redefined every day and people don't seem to mind. If they redefined the word "marker", would you protest it because "marker" has had a set definition for years? Switching around a few words so that same-sex couples are included in the definition cannot and will not affect your existing marriage in any way, shape, or form.
Idiot:Marriage is about reproducing. Two people of the same sex cannot reproduce.
Intelligent person:What about sterile men and infertile women? They're still allowed to get married. Why not ban that as well? And if you want to get technical, gay couples can reproduce via a surrogate, but that's probably a little too technical for you, Mr. Idiot.
Idiot:Legalizing gay marriage will devalue existing traditional marriages.
Intelligent person:If two total strangers living several hundred miles away from you getting married affects your marriage somehow, then I don't think your marriage was that strong to begin with.
Idiot:The Bible states that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Intelligent person:The Bible says a lot of things, but this country is not governed by what the Bible says. This country is governed by what the Constitution says and the first amendment states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
Idiot:Marriage and family go hand-in-hand. In order to properly raise a child, the child must have a mother and a father. If we legalize gay marriage and same-sex couples raise children, the children will grow up confused.
Intelligent person:A child does not need to have both a mother and a father in order to grow up secure and successful. If you don't believe me, you can visit the man who lives in the White House. As for same-sex couples raising children, several scientific studies have concluded that being raised by same-sex parents does not affect a child's self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional health.
Idiot:Gay marriage is against my religious belief and as an American I reserve the right to religious freedom.
Intelligent person:Really? Gays getting married will not take your religious freedom away. You're allowed to believe in whatever you want, but you're not allowed to try and impose your beliefs on me by trying to take my rights away. That is not religious freedom.
“Firefly fans will see me, do a double take, stop, nod and say ‘Captain’ with an air of ‘I know what you’ve been through. I’ve been there too’. A guy did it to me in a furniture store the other day. I was walking by, and he saw me, stopped, stood up straight, and said, ‘Captain,’ and I nodded and said, ‘As you were.’”—Nathan Fillion, Entertainment Weekly (via gypsy-sunday)